Category: Letters to Wof

Wof is the World’s Okayest Friend, she may have started out as a real person but I’m not sure she is anymore. She’s just Wof, and well that’s as okay as it gets. I write her letters, she doesn’t respond, so I write her more letters. It’s most likely because she exists on a plain that you don’t have access to. But rest assured if she ever does respond I’ll be sure to share.

Disclaimer: These letters are filled with words. Some 4 letter, some 3 letter, but typically less than 13 letter. These words make sentences which when combined create the letter. If you do not like what you are reading you have every right to rearrange the words or opt out completely. An intact letter may be filled with cheekiness, sass, one sided conversations, bad jokes(of all types), language(typically English), self deprecation, ego, and hints of passive aggression.

For example: “For spelling and grammar please see the 3rd finger from left(this includes your thumb if you are counting from that side), if you are missing fingers just assume the second, or you can email me which ever is easier. The truth of the matter is that I wouldn’t flip you the bird. I just thought it was funny. But seriously if the grammar is that bad, delicately give me a few pointers.”

I’m pretty sure they are going to let you down in more ways than one, and may even lower my rankings as a human being in your mind. Without further ado welcome to Letters to Wof.

Whoops…one more ado. You’re going to have to scroll down or use a quick link below :)

Subtle Communication

Dear Wof I think we all like to be right. To at least feel like we are right most of the time. Or in your case, every once in a while. But it’s nice to feel like we’ve passed good judgment over a situation, a person, or whatever. In hope that, in the words of […]

The Wallflower

Dear WOF One of my great temptations is to write at someone. Sometimes I want to vent, to passively correct a wrong, but I’d say most of the time I want to impress. And more than likely it’s to impress a girl, but don’t worry it’s not you. Let me take you on a lack […]

The Past

Dear Wof, It’s been about 6 years since the divorce. I’m not going to go into details about it. You can read that on my blog if you really want. You’ll have to find it though, adding a link would make it too easy and I don’t really want to wander through those archives. Lots […]

A Crush

Dear Wof, Have you ever wanted to tell someone how beautiful they were? No strings attached, well maybe a thin thread of a small crush but nothing worth clinging too. It’s ok to have a crush on a beautiful soul right? Or at least one who has given you that impression. A crush is pretty […]

Trust the Process

Dear Wof, Brace yourself for wisdom. Are you braced? OK, here goes. “Don’t forget to breathe, you’ll live longer.” Mind blown? That’s about the best I’ve got for wisdom. It’s a good thing you braced yourself, huh? It’s been fun becoming a part of Missoula. I’m starting to make friends. Don’t be so surprised, I’m […]

Fed Up

Dear WOF, I’m done. That’s the best way to start a fed up letter. Fed up, that may be the first time I’ve ever written that out. Fed being the past of Feed which is a verb associated with Food…Interesting. Well maybe not but you’re still reading. Continuing…I can’t take dating apps anymore. I know, […]


Dear Wof, How does it feel to be neglected? Did you even notice? Well, I haven’t missed you one bit. All those letter you wrote are just sitting in the closet. And if they actually existed I wouldn’t miss them either. I said that with a hard e, just wanted to clarify. I save the […]


Dear Wof, I feel like I’ve been on a walkabout for some 4 years now. A friend of mine says: Dwayne, you know you’re like a fart in the wind. You just never know where you’re going to waft. And he’s right about one thing…I smell. Another friend of mind told me. Dwayne, I don’t […]

Cheap Quotes

Dear Wof, We can’t all be as perfect as myself. It’s a lot of pressure when everyone likes you, laughs at your jokes, and envy’s your very prescience. That’s a burden I must bear, and I won’t trouble you with it. But today, I have a frustration I want to share with you. Two messages […]


Dear Wof, For the last few weeks I have been waking up at 6:00am with the goal being to get a solid 40hrs of work in every week. Waking up for me if quite the process, so when I say 6:00am I really mean out of bed by 7:30am. I set about 10 alarms each […]

Birth Right

Dear Wof, Have you ever thought about how much birth plays into who we are, how we think, and what we become? I was born handsome, humble, and down right studdly. We can’t all be so lucky. On top of that I was born an MPWK (Mostly Privileged White Kid). I had to work for […]

Can’t Sleep

Dear Wof, I can’t sleep, and it’s for one reason. If only it was because I was thinking about you. But nope, don’t have that kind of time. Instead, I have 2 out of 4 paws pressing into my back. That’s failing by school standards, but Gentri doesn’t mind at all. She’s perfectly content with […]

White Substances

Dear Wof, I have a funny story for you! Yes, you’re going to laugh. This morning I woke up. If I hadn’t it would be safe to assume that I would be incapable of writing this. Well I guess I could have awoken a zombie, in which case I would still be incapable. But that […]

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