Letters to Wof - Trust the Process


These letters probably won't make a whole lot of sense. They are a creative experiment that I hope you find funny, but if not that's ok. Learn more here :)

Dear Wof,

Brace yourself for wisdom. Are you braced? OK, here goes. “Don’t forget to breathe, you’ll live longer.” Mind blown? That’s about the best I’ve got for wisdom. It’s a good thing you braced yourself, huh? It’s been fun becoming a part of Missoula. I’m starting to make friends. Don’t be so surprised, I’m a nice guy. Edit: Turns out you can’t even be nice anymore(see r/niceguys it’s pretty funny and if there’s one thing serious it in this first paragraph it’s that I hope I never fit that subreddit). Regardless, I am clever, funny, handsome, and incredibly humble so what’s not to like. I’ve hit a couple weird bumps though. Well, I think they are:

  1. I don’t smoke either(hard i) herb. For the innocent that’s tobacco and marijuana.
  2. I only drink occasionally. Only one beer unless I’m feeling particularly festive, then I’ll have two. :) Party hard.
  3. I’m about as fun to party with as a rock.

In a town that has a drinking problem and no shortage of fun, my preferences make it a little difficult to meet people. Who wants to invite someone out who doesn’t do any of the above? I’m the definition of lame. And then there’s this awkward moment when someone offers you a spliff and you say no or in my “Nah man, I’m good.” Now they are wondering if you’re ok with it or judging. It shouldn’t be awkward but it really is. It would be more awkward and kinda funny if when asked “Are you OK if I smoke?” you responded with a hard “No!” and then remained silent for a bit. Haha. But seriously I don’t mind at all. I like the smell of it too. So smoke away dude. I just choose not to partake in it for my own reasons. No they are not religious, but they are well overthought and would bore you more than this letter has. Oh, there’s more boring stuff to come, so don’t worry.

Those traits then compound on to my dating problems. Looking forward to this huh?! Yes, you’re bout to hear me whine a little bit. Don’t worry I’ve got plenty of cheese to go with it. So picking up where I left off with the last letter, I fit pretty solidly in the friend zone. I like it. It’s not that I don’t want to sleep with a beautiful date, I just know how much that will screw my head up. Some can handle it, but I can’t. Didn’t I tell you I fall hard. In some ways I fear that I’m never going to meet someone who thinks that becoming friends first is as sexy as I do. And that’s where one of my new friends wisdom comes in…”Dwayne, you just have to believe that someone is out there and at some point you guys are going to cross paths.” I translate that to a mantra: “Trust the process.” Dear someone who’s out there, I can’t wait to meet you, I could really use a hella beautiful friend. Maybe it will turn into something more.

Poor, lonesome, but still handome handsome. Not sure what handome is? New slang for face-palm maybe? Hand Dome. OK, not funny, but kinda?

~dmp

P.S. – I deleted those apps….again. I’ve got bigger adventures to have than all that swiping left. You can still ski in MONTANA!!!!!!


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