One Rapid At A Time

I’ve just wasted the last few hours stressing out. I kinda got told today that I spend too much time having fun and I guess it hurt my feelings more than I thought. I dunno, maybe I’m just not normal but the last thing I want to do is spend every waking minute working. Which means, doing what I am doing now, staring at a computer screen. So instead, I’ve just been lost inside my head trying to figure out what exactly I’m supposed to do for the rest of my life. No big deal. Occasionally, I’d log on to Facebook hoping for an escape from my over analytical mind but you know, most of the time all Facebook does is leave you feeling a little more depressed. Well, unless it’s your birthday. Anyways, I went back to staring at the ceiling….

Paddling has been such a great addition to my life. There are just so many beautiful metaphors. One that you learn pretty quickly is that when we worry about the big rapid downstream the little rapids we are now in aren’t as fun and usually flip us. Our focus becomes on what lies ahead and not the here and now. We are fearful of the future and that is a major set back. Doesn’t that sound like a bible verse?

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” – Matthew 6:34

And back to staring at the ceiling…..As I set there I realized that I was worrying about everything little detail of my future. I don’t know why but it seems like I can torture myself for hours and then a simple little thought changes everything. So I’m writing this as a reminder to myself. Don’t try to look too far ahead. Make sure you’re having fun in the little rapids. You can take care of the big one when you get there, and if you still don’t like it you can always portage.