By: Dwayne Parton

Casual Dating

I’m in a funny place right now. I’m almost 30. I’m single. I’m having a good time. I kayak as often as I can. I work when I’m not kayaking. I’m about to do one of the hardest things I’ll probably ever do in my life. I’ll tell you about that in another post. That just a teaser to build some suspense….sucker. I kinda like being single but it does seem to be a regular topic of conversation. I know my parents want to see me “move on”. They kid about it quite regularly.

Honestly, the thought of trying to have a relationship makes me feel nauseated. I’m just not ready for that kind of thing. I don’t want the drama and I don’t want the complications. Perhaps I’m a little guarded but I think that’s a good thing, at least for now. I do like meeting people, but I would never want to lead anyone on. Sometimes, I think it would be alright to just make friends by causally dating but that could be dangerous and you could really hurt someone.

I think the truth of the matter is that unless you are ready for a relationship, casual dating shouldn’t be an option. Going on a date implies that you are interested in seeing if someone has potential. If you know that there is no potential simply because of where you are at then it doesn’t make sense to go on a casual date. In doing so you run the risk of leading someone on. Especially, if you continue to casually date them.

They may be in your friend zone, but you could be in their love zone. That’s never fun. At least not when you’re the one in the friend zone. I know that you can’t really prevent what someone may feel but I think it’s important to be clear about your intentions. I think a casual date is a good way to be unclear.

Originally, I liked the idea of casually dating but I’m a bit of a people-pleaser. If I think I hurt or could hurt someone it causes me more stress than it’s worth. It’s important to allow yourself time to enjoy singleness. Not by going out and having flings because you’re not really single then, but just by living. Having fun. Going on an adventure. You don’t always get a chance to start over. I feel like I got that chance and I guess right now I just want to soak that up.

Featured photo by: Tombre