By: Dwayne Parton

Public Showers, Ramen, and Sprinklers

I’m so thankful for my shower today. It had been a few since I had one. The one shower with a curtain was taken and the locker room is full of people. Yeah, this kind of thing makes me uncomfortable. So I sit and wait for the only shower with a stall. Some public showers are more public than others.


I feel like I’m in Braveheart. Now, if some lass walks up to me with one of these flowers in her hand that will be something. I think they are beautiful. Some say they are weeds. Aren’t weeds anything you don’t want to grow in a particular place.


I just watched an Asian woman about pee herself after finding a pack of Ramen…she holds up 2 packs, one in each hand, and waves them at here family…”oOoOo!” She says with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen at Albertson’s. It made me laugh. Did you guys invent these?

It’s rained all day. I’m walking back to my car with Huckleberry Jam and Peanut Butter in my hands. I’m smiling because all I can think is “I’ll be you’re huckleberry” as said by Doc Holiday in Tombstone. A man walking next to me starts talking.”You know I just don’t understand…” He says with a hint of anger. I shift my eyes over, is he talking to me. “We’re having a drought on the west coast” he continues. Who the heck is he talking too? Eyes shift again. “It’s rained all day here.” I check for sings of Bluetooth, he doesn’t have one. He’s got to be talking to me. “And we’re f*%#ing watering the lawn!” I look to see the sprinklers are running…I laugh the kinda laugh that says sure I agree but honestly I had no idea you were talking to me. Smile showing both rows of teeth. Yep.