By: Dwayne Parton

The Accidental Pick Up Line

This is really a pointless story but in my mind it’s kind of funny so I decided to write it down:

It’s new years eve, so Tyler and I hit the town. Anchorage is supposed to be having a celebration of some sort. We walk around through crowds of people. They are all going the opposite way. The fireworks have just finished. We walk to a pub called F-Street. We were going to eat there but it’s packed. Tyler runs in to use the bathroom. I stand outside back on the wall near the front window. I’m flipping through my phone. That’s what you do now, so you don’t look like you’re just waiting.

Two girls walk up beside me. They peep through the window as if they were looking for someone. I laugh and think to myself. “Window shopping, huh?” but I say it out loud unable to control my tongue. Where did that come from!

“Well, yeah kinda…hehe” one responds “What are you doing?”
Oh shoot, she responded. “Um…I’m waiting on a friend”
“Who’s that?”
“Tyler.” I say, while at the same time thinking “Is that the right response? there’s no way you know him.” I didn’t say that out loud though.
“Oh, well looks like you get to have your pick.”

My brain is trying to compute what’s happening. I pause again. It’s awkward. “Well…ummm….well…” Tyler walks out just in time. “That’s Tyler” I say in an equally awkward manner, forcing him to take over the conversation. “Sup.” He says and nods. I’m walking up the street already. I have no idea what to do. I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just totally didn’t mean to get myself into that situation. Tyler talks to them for a moment before closing the conversation.